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Tonight I finally had a "relationship-defining talk" (RDT) with Starbucks. Those of you who attended a Christian college or university might have had 1 or 2 of these. I think what started out as friendly visits had turned into an unhealthy lust and addiction. When you have three gift cards to blow, grabbing 1-2 iced green teas or better, Vivanno's, per day seems pretty harmless.
Tonight I took inventory of my motivations and for the sake of thoroughness, tested myself with the CAGE criteria. Between these alarming results and revisitation of my recent disregard for gift card stewardship, I decided that I needed to take a break from Starbucks.
Perhaps my Starbucks visit tonight sealed the deal.
After a run on the canal tonight (and changing pants - key to the story, I promise), I took a trip to a different Starbucks. As I began to rattle off my drink order, I instinctively tapped my back pocket to confirm my wallet was in place.
Back in the car, I found a coupon I had printed off for a free drink at S'bucks. Triumphantly, I blew open the doors of this franchise again and proudly placed my coupon on the counter. The already gestapoish barista took one look and announced that they did not accept this coupon. He said that the staff had gotten an email recently about counterfeit coupons like this for a free drink and that they should refuse them at all costs. Trying to defend my challenged morality, I told him the source and that there was even a note and code to the barista at the bottom of the coupon. Snatching it up, he insisted, "No...no...we were warned about this email. See right here, it has two labels just like they told us about...one on either side...it's a fake...it's a fraud."
He kept hollering, "counterfeit" and "fraud" after me as I headed towards the door, which started to send my blood pressure and pride through the roof. Contemplating how best to word a "letter to the manager" or "higher-up at the Starbuck's corporation" about this customer service failure, I headed home for an in-house study night.
I suppose he made it that much easier to scale back my relationship with S'bucks tonight. Well, I have to go change my facebook profile to "It's complicated" (only because "on a break" is not an option), so good night for now.
P.S. Those of you to whom I emailed that coupon might reconsider trying to use it! My apologies!
P.S.S. My Adams/Wells County relatives will not have the privilege of choosing whether to go to S'bucks anymore after Bluffton's store was closed this week, being dubbed one of the nation's 100 under-performers. (Insert "Debbie Downer's 'waaaa wahhhhhh' here)
6 comments:
I was able to use that coupon at the Starbucks in Fishers and the barasita even gave it back to me. Then I tried using it at 56th and Laffy. and they said that they didn't accept it, it was counterfit. They did a great job of trying to console me (they even said, "it's okay, it's not your fault b/c you didn't know") but in the end they took pity and honored the coupon. Next time, try crying. Oh, and please don't start a rebound relationship with let's say Monon Coffee,Creation Cafe or MoJoe's. Everyone just ends up hurt in the end and then you realize how much you appreciated your first love. ;-)
The CAGE criteria... I about choked on my drink when I read that line
ha ha ha!! my friend tried it at an airport in detroit and it worked...
This may be one of the best things you've ever written. I, too have been going a little crazy with the birthday gift cards. Soon I will run out and not know what to do! My "once a week" rule has been broken way too often... especially now that I can get the free Internet.
I was studying at Mo Joe's yesterday, and they have a little note by the register that if you use "Starbucks lingo" they might not be nice to you. They also have a 'bucks cup with a devil face drawn on it. I think they may need therapy for some unresolved anger and bitterness issues.
I figured the coupon was too good to be true, so I didn't even try it.
And funny, we called them DTR, not RDT. "Defining the relationship..." you know how much I love doing THAT! haha.
wow j! it sounds like the writing was on the wall tonight. some relationships are better after a break. keep your chin up!
Support your local coffee shop and use a coffeecover. :)
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