Evolution of a Young Doctor

Today after I finished presenting a patient to my attending at clinic and giving him my plan, he said "Okay."

"Okay?" I thought. "That's it? No pushback, no further insights, no offer to go touch base with the family himself and add to my plan if he saw fit? Just an 'okay' and then they can leave?...After just seeing me?"

The second half of my intern year is certainly bringing with it a new air of responsibility, challenge, as well as confidence. My staff doctors are starting to look at me as a future physician instead of a wayward, non-committed (in the sense of specialty) medical student. With that transition, I see them expecting more from me, respecting my perspective, and even asking for my opinion in unclear patient scenarios. I often find myself thinking, "Why is she looking at me as if I know the answer?" "Is he really going to take that information from me on faith?"

I am indeed feeling the transition from pure learner to responsible clinician. I find it very sobering that in 2.5 years I may be practicing in Onyourownsville without the same comforts of staff approving my plans or adding their 2 cents. With this realization comes an urgency to read and absorb as much information as possible during this period in order to be more ready.

In the meantime (lest you worry), staff are ALWAYS willing to recheck an ear, talk through whether a patient is truly "sick", or to provide insights afforded by their years of experience.

The transition, the welcome evolution of this young doctor, is occurring, albeit gradually. Pray that I have the motivation to read/study, humility to always remain a learner, and enduring heart for my patients despite long hours, frustrating family situations, and resentment that insidiously works its way into my thinking.