Quotables from the First Grade

So vacation months afford treats like getting to visit your Mom's first grade classroom. Though originally supposed to be a "guest reader" today, the 2-hour delay changed my role into reading aid, hall monitor, and my personal favorite, crowd control. I had a blast with Mom's class and in such a short afternoon, I came away with some classic quotes and one-liners from these little people.

* * * * *
(On my entering the room)

Urchin #1: (annoyed) Who are you?

Me: I'm Jordan, Mrs. Huskins' son

Urchin #1: Oh. What is 100...times...2000

Me: (after probably too much thought): 200,000

Urchin #1: That's correct. How old are you?

Me: I'm 26

Urchin #1: I have one sister that is 4 years younger than you and one that is 7 years younger than you...so how old does that make them?

Me: (Inner monologue: Seriously? Who is this kid?...an incognito PBS correspondent stealthily disguised in a 1st grader's body?) So...that would make them 19 and 22.

Urchin#1: Good job.


* * * * *

Girl #1: I am wearing a beautiful Chinese outfit next week on Thursday.

Me: Really?

Girl #1: Yep...because it is Chinese New Year.

Me: Wow. I am sure you will look beautiful. What color is it?

Girl #1: (glowing) oh...it's red - because red is the color of "good luck" in China...KEEP THE TRADITION ALIIIIIVVVVE!!!


* * * * *

During "Haiti Group"

Mom: Does anyone remember how to say thank you in creole?

Class: (frantic hands raised with a chorus of "ooh! ooh!'s): MERCI!!!

Mom: and "please"...oh boy, what was the word for please? Does anyone remember?

Teachers Pet: Oh yes, Mrs. Huskins, I have the paper with all of the translations...(Importantly) Here you go.

Mom: Thank you. Ahh yes..."Silvouple" or "Tanti"... Excuse me, Chris, are you playing with a ball from home again in my class? Please put it in on my desk. You can get it back on Monday.

TP: (scanning the room purposefully) Mrs. Huskins!!! Katie has a toy too!


I have a feeling TP is going to lose friends really quickly...

* * * * * *


First grade was a fun place to visit but I think I would be a pretty lousy teacher. "Oh you got 45 conduct marks again this week, Johnny? Well, go ahead and pick out of the treasure chest...I'm sure you'll do better next week."

OR

"Jenny, you forgot to get your Book-It! form signed for the 12th consecutive week now? Go ahead and take one of these free pizza coupons...oh and here's one for your sister too"

These kids look so innocent and saying "no" would be tough for me. It is a good thing that my mom (AKA "The General") is so experienced with the wiles of the 1st grader and knows how to love them compassionately yet direct them when needed.